


Ever Since Day One

by keitosamu



Category: Metallica
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, British Female Character, Cocaine, Drug Use, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Sex, F/M, Jailbait, Justice Era Kirk, Kinks, Load Era Kirk, Memories, Oral Sex, Pre-Load Era Kirk, Rough Sex, Smoking, Statutory Rape, Underage Sex, Welsh Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-09-21 19:04:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9562448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keitosamu/pseuds/keitosamu
Summary: Reminiscing is sweet. A young Welsh girl relives her childhood days of when she attended her first ever concert, met her idols and developed a subtle obsession. Now she is with the one that has been a part of her wildest dream ever since day one:Kirk Lee Hammett.





	1. 1988

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: SLIGHT SPOILER
> 
> I have used the statutory rape and Jailbait tags due to the fact that having a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old is illegal under the state law of California and that person would be considered a minor. Kirk is from the state of California and part of this story will eventually take place in the United States however the first sexual encounter will take place in the United Kingdom where the legal age of consent is 16. In no way do I condone having a sexual relationship with a minor by publishing this work.

Remember when we met for the first time in ’88? I can recall it as if it were yesterday, it was my first Metallica concert with my father. I had just turned 11 on the 15th September and it was the greatest gift a metal kid could ask for. My auntie Bec drove us from Cardiff to Newport Centre that evening as my Dad would obviously be having a couple of drinks, which he did. Him and I sat in the back while Bec stuck on the album you had just released – ‘Justice’. It was the most memorable moment I had with my family, my Dad was just as excited as I was despite it being his 3rd time seeing you live. I still can’t believe that they let kids into that venue considering it was Metallica but how could I complain I was simply blown away that night. I can still visualise the moment when I was atop my Father’s shoulders holding on for dear life in the screaming crowd, my mouth was agape with amazement as I tuned in to your melodic talent when performing ‘One’. It was my new favourite song at the time and watching you up there in the spotlight made me fall in love for the first time. Never had I looked at someone with that amount of intense admiration or attraction. It was a couple of months until your 26th birthday: you were 25, I was 11, the 14-year difference never stopped me from dreaming.

After the show my father and I had to hang around for a while and wait for Bec to come and pick us up but the adrenaline was still flowing from our sweaty pores. I was shaking in my brand new, oversized tour shirt he got for me I was left on a mesmerising high. We had loitered around the stage purposefully in hopes of catching a glimpse of our heroes, but mainly we stayed because Bec was extremely late. As we hovered near the boundaries of the backstage area we saw a head pop out from a door, it was Jason. He whipped his damp hair out of his face and smiled down to me.

“Sup pal nice shirt! There’s a silver marker in my dressing room I’m sure if you come on through I’ll be able to up the price of it by a few bucks huh?”

I was freaking out inside and my father clearly was too as he pushed me forward from the small of my back, we were getting what we hoped for. Something like this was a stretch and we knew it but it was out of sheer luck that Jason happened to peer out and see us, he still stood in the doorway holding the way open for us. We made haste and slid through, multiple crew members and centre staff were bustling around but payed no mind to us. Jason signalled for us to follow the leader and began walking to another door. My dad had perched his hand on my shoulder and kept it there as I subtly skipped towards my idol bassist. All I could remember from that point was Jason stepping into the dressing room and conversing with those on the other side, I was too giddy to comprehend anything at that moment. He turned back down to me and then towards Dad.

“James has gone on a food hunt he’ll be back soon, come on in.”

As Jason guided me through the typically messy dressing room with my father following behind me the first thing I saw was Lars with a towel around his neck and a rather sunny grin.

“Hey kiddo, it’s way past your bedtime it’s a weeknight.”

Amidst my star struck gaze I replied to the drummer rather swiftly.

“Metallica’s a good enough reason to stay up late.”

While removing his towel from his shoulders he ruffled the top of my head, that’s when I saw you come up behind him. Your hair still looked full and curly with only a slight glisten amongst the light, I was star struck once again only twice as hard. You came down to my height to talk as I replied to Lars when he asked for my name.

“This your first Metallica concert Caitlin?”

“Y-yeah it’s my first ever concert actually my dad bought the tickets for my birthday.”

I could feel the heat suddenly resonate in my face I knew that I had gone a bright shade of pink. I tugged my tour shirt down and fiddled with the hem.

“Your birthday, awesome. How old are you now?”

Your toothy smile forced me to look down with the same expression although my eyes kept straining themselves to look directly at you.

“I turned 11 last week and this is my Dad’s 3rd time seeing you guys. I’ve been listening to your music since ’84 when he put Ride the Lighting on in the car on the way to London for a weekend trip.”

Lars spoke up again while inching towards my dad. He shook his hand firmly and I could tell in his eyes he was about to collapse from the bewilderment on our situation.

“Dad’s got good taste it seems.”

“Well you got to raise them young, God knows what they’d end up listening to.”

They chuckled as Jason joined in with my father’s blossoming conversation with Lars. They continued to jabber away to each other while I was left near the far corner of the room with you. I couldn’t stop smiling at you despite being extremely nervous it was as if I was helpless.

“For a metal head you sure are a sweet kid, I think Jason said something about a silver marker didn’t he?”

I followed your steps as you strode over with your slim legs, watching as you fumbled around some sheets of paper and other items atop the dresser. You exclaimed an expression of victory and took a seat on the nearby sofa as you removed the marker’s lid. The air filled with that pleasantly strong, alcoholic scent.

“So where do you want me to sign Cait?”

I loved it when you shortened my name it was what my friends at school called me. Kate was ironically my mother’s name. I looked around my shirt at the spots where the design didn’t cover the fabric and pointed to the left side of my chest.

“Your heart, you got it.”

I hadn’t intentionally thought about the spot I wanted your signature in particular to be, but to me it seemed fitting although I had only found feelings for you in the past hour or so. You used your fingers to stretch out the fabric to get a flat canvas. Normally the feeling of marker on fabric would run through my teeth and make me cringe but instead I focused on the pressure I felt. Gentle, swift lines ran over my heart. As you pulled away and snapped the marker lid back on I thanked you profusely and took the spot next to you.

“Wow. Now this is worth some real money!”

You laughed with me. Seeing you smile kept me locked on to you I could see how genuine you were through your eyes alone when talking to me. The fact that I was just a kid didn’t bother you, you treated me in a mature way like any other fan though I could feel something extra, like some sort of special treatment. It may have been because I was a small girl, I was celebrating my birthday or that it was a new experience. But you treated me as if I were 10 years older.

“Don’t sell it off this is a memento of your first ever concert. I still have a lot of first time memories kept alive by stuff like that.”

“I’d never sell this not for a mil, I don’t even think another band could impress me as much as you did tonight.”

You shrugged as you reached for an already opened beer bottle on the side table.

“You’ve got plenty of time to see other bands were only one of many others who play this type of music. You never know but we could be replaced on your favourites list one day.”

“Ha, no one can do what you do.”

My Dad was still stood at the other side of the room with Lars and Jason with a beer in his hand, the way he was talking was as if he had known the boys all his life he had really mellowed out. He may have tried something while I was engrossed with Kirk but I wasn’t exactly sheltered from that sort of thing. James was still missing and I was still sat with Kirk, I kneeled on the sofa facing him with my shirt covering half of my thighs while we continued to preoccupy each other.

“I can’t wait to rub this in my friends faces, Marie’s always saying how much she wants to see you and boasts about how she’s gonna marry James one day.”

I saw your brow raise, with the same smile you asked me:

“You girls always argue over the singer huh?”

“Nah James is Marie’s favourite member, you’re MY favourite member.”

I didn’t even hesitate the words just slipped out and a sudden weight seemed to relieve itself from my chest. I know that I had only recently fallen for you but you were always my favourite from the very beginning, even before I had learned your name. I noticed how you took it in – an 11-year-old admired you. You hadn’t met a young girl quite like myself had you, or even a young girl who enjoyed your music? Surely there were countless kids out there that did but was there another like me? It was uncertain at the time but after 7 years the answer was a simple ‘no’. To you I was unique. After so many years of missing your concerts I felt like my dream was slipping away from me, that I’d never see you again. I watched you grow as I grew myself. I watched you reach the height of your success in ’91, heard from you all over the news and radio from ’92 – ’94. I was so proud that I cried for you, my idol was evolving.


	2. 1995

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for my absence I forgot this even existed, not that anyone's reading this anyway ಠ_ಠ

After hearing about 1995s Monsters of Rock at Donington I just had to go, with or without friends or family. It was the year you were finally headlining, not to mention it was also your 4th appearance there so how could I miss that sort of opportunity? Luckily my savings from my part time job covered me just enough for a VIP pass, seeing that cash in my hand made my heart pound, it felt like a fortune. Holding it told me that I’d finally be able to see you again, even if I was to be confined to the pit. With that thought in mind I ordered my ticket and waited for the days to just roll by. In the summer holidays of ’95 my father took me to Paris for a week, he was awarded a bonus a few weeks prior from the Hospital for 5 years of service. Being a doctor had its many luxurious privileges and I was grateful for the fact that he would splash out his earnings for me. Spending quality time with my father was something I always enjoyed, especially when alcohol was involved. Considering that we had gone to Europe I was able to drink as much as him. He’d always let me drink in our house anyway so it’s not like it was anything new, it was nice just to be able to do it in public. Nonetheless it was the best week of any summer I’d ever had. It got me thinking about what it’d be like if I had gone with you. It was the beginning of an unhealthy obsession.

As the month of August came to a close the festival drew closer, three days before my leave I remember my father lecturing me about safety precautions in Leicestershire, due to the fact that I’d be wandering around Castle Donington all on my lonesome. The over protective single father stereotype applies to him 100% and I still don’t understand why he even let me go. He wasn’t able to come with me due to important dates involving his job overlapping with the festival; this sort of thing was naturally expected regardless. Schedule clashes were a frequent occurrence when something important within the family was to happen. He was due to start his shift five hours before I would leave for Leicestershire that night; it was the last day I spent with him.

I took a Greyhound coach up to Leicestershire on the evening of the 25th; all I packed was a change of clothes, my toothbrush, my passport for ID, some pound notes and my ticket. Every hour I spent on that coach was a daydream. All I could think about was seeing you again after nearly seven long years, wondering if you would remember me. The change of clothes I had brought included my signed Damaged Justice shirt that you had signed that night at Newport. My plan was to camp out at the front of the stage in the early hours of the morning so I would be able to secure a place where I would be able to see everything, with my signed shirt on I had high hopes that maybe you would notice who I was. It was a long shot of course; you’d be playing to a crowd of thousands upon thousands of fans, you wouldn’t have the time to pick out certain details from individuals, not even from those right up front. But you did. You saw me, and I saw the way your eyes lit up from the recognition. You looked bewildered as if you had seen an urban legend come to life, I above all, was amazed at the fact that you were able to tell it was me. To decipher a seventeen-year-old from a memory of an eleven-year-olds face was remarkable, and from your distance up on stage was even more impressive. You continued to mindlessly shred your guitar while processing my presence; I gave a huge smile your way to acknowledge it. You were right in the middle of your ‘Sanitarium’ solo as you continued to stare and confirm that what you saw was real. I thought I was dreaming myself. As you continued to play on with the guys I noticed that you stayed close to my side of the stage, of course you would cater to everyone on the right side of the pit but you constantly hovered around my left near the end of the show, taking curious glances every now and then. I had the gloomiest feeling once James yelled the opening line of ‘So What’, I knew it that it was the final song of the setlist and that this glorious sensation would all come to an end in the following three minutes. As the song picked up I saw you look back down to me once again, I could see what you tried to convey through your eyes. I smiled to let you know that I understood. You wanted me to wait behind, but for how long? I debated whether or not I should because god knows how long I’d have to stay patiently idol. I recalled the fact that I had a VIP pass; it meant I’d be able to see you anyway. The last thing I wanted was to cause confusion but I was not about to let over a year of pay go to waste.

I shoved my way through the crowd before the song could come to its end, the wave of people spread along the sides of the stage went on for miles but I managed to weave and dive through. I came face to face with a mass of security guards and a couple of other kids with their passes on lanyards. A big and burly guard leaned down to my height and pointed me to the direction of the queue; it was already at least twenty people long, I clearly wasn’t the only one with some common sense. I heard the crowd screech as the show came to a stop while I took my place at the back of the line, the first five kids were already being guided through, it looked like the whole VIP experience was just a move-along meet and greet with the band. Either that or it was a real experience. You'd be getting what you paid for. The line just started to move altogether through heavy, black curtains. I honestly expected more kids to follow up behind me but everyone in the crowd just stayed put and continued to throw plastic cups and even each other. The girl in front of me had long, black, curly hair similar to you though it was a lot fuller due to her ethnicity. It reminded me of how jealous I would always get when I saw you and the guys, even though you were men you all had such long hair, mine would never grow to such lengths. It was always an ideal thought for me to have hair resembling Robert Plant’s in the early 70s, I could imagine just getting lost in it. But then I thought of how cool it would be to have bouncy curls like that girl, like you. I grew embarrassed from my old, unimportant thoughts and hadn’t even realised where myself and the others had been lead to. We stood grouped together backstage; the crew were rushing around clearing up general equipment. The security guards began to select people at random, presumably to head to the dressing room and meet the band. Of course I was right, I was dragged along with Miss Curly Whirly, some grunge kid and his punky brother. Not that I cared about who I was with, I only cared about who I was going to see.

We were guided through an area closed off by more curtains and lined with rows of tour boxes and cases of what I assumed was full of equipment. Lots of crew members kept scooting through the narrow passage of boxes and I could hear James’ victorious shouting grow louder as we continued to walk. The familiarity felt like home. The guard accompanying us stepped to the side and told us to carry on up to James, he just disappeared through a curtain after that. As my excitement grew the volume of James’ voice grew along with it, we came so close I could hear Jason and Lars laughing along with him, but not you. I couldn’t hear your voice, I didn’t know why but I started to panic so I stopped walking. The kids kept on with their trek and left me to stand alone in the centre of the lonely passage of boxes, looking down to the dressing area I saw the guys crowd around the kids but you were no where to be found. It was quiet where I was, the crew stopped coming, the shouting died down. I was alone. I didn’t want to face the guys without you there; I wanted you to be there. I watched the figures of James and Lars laugh and wail out loud with their fans at the end of my vision, everything sounded warped until a distressed voice called out to a security guard with concern. My senses reverted back, snapping me out of whatever state I was in. The voice from behind awoke a sensation that was so overwhelming I couldn’t even begin to describe how happy it made me feel.

“You seen a girl around here with like straightish, dark violet hair with a fringe, blue eyes? She’s like five foot five or something, she’s got a signed Damaged Justice shirt on.”

You came back. I came back.

“Think so, pretty sure she went through with some other kids with them backstage passes mate. She’s probably with James and all that.”

I watched the security guard walk off in the direction I had came; you sighed heavily and ran your hands through your hair in frustration, muttering what sounded like your standard profanities. In disbelief I started walking again, both of my hands nervously fiddled with strands of hair that rested on my chest. I ran over the possible things I could say to gain your attention a million and one times but instead I stood behind you, and half whispered:

“It’s been a while…”

You whipped around, your hair almost slapping my face. I couldn’t tell if I had startled you or if you felt the same sense of joy I did. Your expression looked lost and stunned, it faded with a nervous laugh.

“Yeah, it has. You’ve really grown.”

That was obvious but so had you; you were part of the biggest band in the world and I had watched all four of you grow as I did myself. I could tell it came as a shock to you once you saw me in the pit, I look a lot older than my actual age, probably by about four or five years. The oldest I’ve been mistaken for was twenty-three and that was at a pub back in Cardiff, some weirdo bought me a drink thinking I was as you’d say “on the market” but I had no interest. My dad sorted him out, in a non-violent way obviously. I could see you mentally calculating my age and growing more confused. It was amusing.

“So you’re still seventeen right?”

“Unfortunately. But having a mature appearance has its perks I can tell you that.”

You awkwardly laughed with me, while doing so I saw you swiftly scope out our surroundings. The rest of the fans with passes had already gone through from another direction and James, Lars and Jason could only just about be heard conversing with them. You stepped over towards another area of what resembled a dressing room, still closed off by curtains and lined with equipment boxes.

“Let’s wait ‘till those kids finish up and get kicked out, we should do some catching up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catching up if you get me??


	3. Step One Of Seduction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just wrong but it'll get even more wrong lol ;-; I also got kind of lazy I just felt the need to upload.

I sat next to you on a long, rectangular equipment box. The chilly English evening breeze managed to creep its way through the heavy stage curtains and gently pushed your matted curls as you spoke to me. It made me realise how in love with you I really was, despite barely knowing you on a personal level. Talking to you shoved me deeper down into the rabbit hole, hearing the same sweet tone that you used when I was younger felt like a slap from nostalgia. Some may find it slightly patronising to speak to someone so sincerely but I thought of it as a call back to that day. I found myself admiring your labret and lips while I listened to what you had to say, something along the lines of how tired you were from work, I was too busy imagining how it would feel to kiss someone with a labret piercing to take in every detail. I saw you eyeing up the mini fridge in the far corner, I couldn’t blame you for wanting a beer after your performance.

“I know you’re underage but do you drink? I’d feel rude if I didn’t offer you one.”

As you got up and walked I cringed at the use of that word: underage. It was not the time to be reminded of my adolescence, considering our age gap and how infatuated with the situation I was in I didn’t want to think about it. I answered honestly.

“Of course, my Dad lets me have a few every now and then. I even have better tolerance than him.”

You smirked while handing me the bottle. In the background I heard James again, he was bidding the VIP kids farewell, I knew that the passes would grant us barely any time with the band. It’s like I said earlier it was just a move-along meet and greet. I suddenly became grateful for the fact that I found you.

“Looks like he raised a tough kid, still a fan of us I see.”

Of course I was still a fan, since you were the only crush I had growing up I was obsessed with everything you did. Like every other girl I had pictures and posters of the celebrities I loved plastered all over my bedroom walls, my room resembled some sort of Metallica shrine I even cut out magazine pages for my walls. I hummed as you retook your place next to me and popped your beer cap with your thumb. I imitated you.

“Why would I not be? Like many others I’m waiting on a new album so I have to hold out don’t I?”

I jokingly nudged you with my elbow as I took a sip from my beer, one eyebrow suggestively raised. You playfully rolled your eyes and swung your head near mine as you looked down to me.

“Next year I promise… and to prove it-”

You paused to take a swig from your bottle.

“-You can come back to our trailer tonight and watch us jam out. The guys will be cool with it I’m sure.”

I thought I had misheard you once you said that, never would I have imagined that you’d personally offer me to watch you perform privately or even so suddenly. I remember the way I internally jolted once you suggested it I thought I was going to melt away.

“Holy shit all because I joked about new material?”

“Yeah why not? If you want you can even come eat with us at the tent, assuming you haven’t already have you?”

This was the moment that my teenage dreams were slowly becoming a reality, this moment was the very beginning of the creation of who we currently are. My reply was an instant yes. My pupils must’ve dilated by eighty percent or something ridiculous like that, I could practically feel my heart slam against my ribcage. You chugged away your beer and slammed the empty bottle down onto the equipment case, you took my hand and practically pulled me off my seat.

“Let’s go now while some of those kids are still there in the dressing room, plus, once James and Lars get there there’ll be no fuckin’ food left.”

I instinctually set my half empty beer down and went along with you back through the heavy curtains, you took me out through a different way presumably to avoid the fans, the guys and the security guards. And you still held my hand, it was so warm, your grip felt safe. I don’t know if you noticed my arm start to quiver or my fingers clench tightly but it couldn’t be helped, your touch triggered my subtle obsession to externally manifest. You took me down a set of metal steps in front of an empty area that led to the presumed food tent. It looked more like one of those garden gazebos that you see at weddings but without the clear plastic sheets for windows. We quickly walked around to the back end of the tent where you peered in through a small opening, sighing you turned around to me, you slightly jumped back from surprise at how close I was.

“I think food will have to wait, if the festival staff see me with you in there I’m gonna get my ass kicked.”

While readjusting your grip on my hand you turned to walk away from the tent, manoeuvring through many trailers, rows of portable festival toilets and metal barricades.

“We’ll just go back to the trailer for now they won’t be able to find us, Jason will most likely come back with some stuff we can just steal from him, he won’t care.”

I pulled up to your side with excitement in my eyes, hearing that you’d get into trouble if you were seen with a fan outside of the perimeter of the stage gave me a rush, I felt slightly aroused as if I were the troublemaker and not you. I lowly spoke with a slight laugh in my voice, earning a smile from you.

“I feel like I’m a fugitive on the run.”

“You? I’m the one who’ll make it into the headlines if I’m caught.”

In the distance a large green trailer that looked similar to a holiday caravan had a crudely taped piece of paper attached to the front door with the Metallica logo printed onto it. Unwillingly but in a playful manner I let go of you and ran up the steps to its front door, discovering it was unlocked I daringly let myself in. You soon followed up and shut the door behind you, I felt your hand rest itself on my shoulder. I couldn’t help but gaze at your labret again and then your lips as you welcomed me in.

“This is our temporary on-site abode type place, we’ll probably go back to the hotel to change instead before we go out drinking-I’ll just do it here though, you up for coming out with us?”

Before I answered I thought about our age gap again, about being an underage drinker. I had gotten away with public alcoholism many times, some places I’ve even been able to order from the bar since they never asked anyone for ID. What if I was busted this time around? More importantly would the guys be comfortable being seen in public with a minor? I stopped caring as soon as those thoughts were through.

“I’d love to come, drinking out was the main reason I brought my credit card and notes anyway.”

You shouted over the noise of you rummaging through the fridge for more beer, unintentionally clashing bottles together as you pulled five out cradling four in your arm as if they were children.

“Nah don’t worry about money I’ll pay for your drinks I offered you out anyway.”

You handed me another bottle of beer and set four down on a small coffee table. I remember debating with you that it was unnecessary for you to pay for me but you continued with your gentleman-esque persistence. I must’ve turned down the offer four or five times before I decided to give up, it’s one of the millions of qualities I came to discover and fall in love with.

“Damnit Kirk you’re too nice.”

You instantly retorted.

“No I’m not I’m just annoying.”

I laughed with mild amusement as I popped the beer cap off and took my first sip. You did the same as you picked up a towel from the back of a foldable chair and slung it around your neck, I sat on an the arm of a chair with one leg crossed over the other, my jeans slightly tightened around my thighs as I did so. Without warning you pulled your black tank top over your head and tossed it aside which forced my eyes to avert themselves from you. I wanted to stare but it would’ve been ridiculously obvious, part of me wondered if it was intentional torture but I was reminded that you had just finished a gruelling two hour performance on stage , I could practically see your torso glistening with sweat in my peripheral vision. It only topped up my want to ravish you. I sustained my collected façade by continuing to drink away; you threw the towel around your neck again with an exhausted huff and leaned back.

“We’ve most likely got an hour max before anyone comes back, Lars’ll be fawning over Slash for like a half-hour. You got me all to yourself.”

Without thinking I responded while leaning forward with suggestively pursed lips.

“What are you implying Kirk? You planning on having some fun?”

I mentally scolded myself the minute I said that. I felt utter embarrassment rise to my cheeks though you seemed rather charmed by my regale chat, your interested expression surprised me. You pointed your bottle at me with raised eyebrows.

“Now that would get me into the worst kind of trouble. Imagine living with the risk of being arrested all because of some jailbait? I’d feel like Jimmy Page mark two.”

That made me laugh being a fan of Zeppelin, but I also took it as some sort of mislead compliment from the fact that you literally called me jailbait, implying that I was attractive. I didn’t feel offended at all I felt confident, you made me feel pretty. Despite my inner urge to scream and cry I kept up with my act and stayed calm but perky.

“What’s wrong with taking a few risks every once in a while? Isn’t that the norm for success?”

I rested my hand behind me as I leaned back to finish off my beer, simultaneously switching my crossed legs. The bottles were only small since the festival staff didn’t allow you to bring in alcohol purchased off site, and I was a dangerously fast drinker. The smirk you had on your face was priceless it was like you knew about what was being supressed at the back of my mind, you saw my carnal desires. I placed the empty bottle onto the coffee table in front of me and hung my legs over the side of the chairs arm to face you properly. A hand ran through your hair as your head fell back with your eyes half closed, if I had no morals or manners I would’ve made my move at that moment.

“You got me there, though the backlash from the public would fuck me up. I’d probably be labelled as a predator.”

“Kirk, remember that you’re in the metal industry, I doubt the public would be surprised if you had a fling or a relationship with a younger girl. It’s pretty much a common thing in this day and age.”

You stood from the foldable chair and reached out to put down your own empty bottle and to grab two more. You handed me one as you took the seat I sat on the arm of, naturally I swung my legs around for them to hang over the front of the arm. We both stared at the wall in front of us as we carried on with our slightly provocative conversation, until you asked me a question I couldn’t possibly shrug off.

“Have you ever been with an older man Cait?”

I was certain that was a premeditated question something like that couldn’t possibly come to your mind at the spur of the moment, at least I wanted to think that, I found it arousing that you were intrigued in my personal life. My simper smile morphed into a sensual lip bite, I began to find it hard to conceal my wants.

“When I was fourteen I lost my virginity to an eighteen-year-old guy on a holiday in Tenerife, if you can count that as ‘being with an older man’. Though I can’t deny that I prefer older men to guys my age.”

I felt your finger and thumb caress the hem of my shirt while I took the first swig of my next drink. It was my only sexual encounter with a boy and I had never been in a proper relationship at that time. I never understood at that age what sex really was, I don’t think anyone at that age does but I primarily did it out of sheer curiosity. I was still practically untouched and new to the idea, but that didn’t mean there was a lack of sexual appetite in my life.

“What’s the oldest you’d go for?”

“I dunno… I guess if they were fifteen years older that’s as far as I’d go. The thought of doing things with a man in his thirties is quite stimulating.”

I felt you gently tug at my shirts hem as I finished my sentence, you mused in what sounded like approval while you chugged away at your third beer of the evening. Your tone briefly changed to something seductive.

“I see, hey could you pass me those cigarettes and lighter?”

You pointed next to the two remaining untouched beer bottles where an ash tray, cigarette pack and a faux gold zippo lighter lay next to each other. I bent over to retrieve them and could’ve sworn I felt your fingers graze over my lower back where my shirt slightly raised, your eyes were burning into the rear pockets of my jeans. With the pack and lighter in each hand I leaned back to my previous position and pulled out a cigarette, placing it between your already parted lips. The way you watched me light you up made my stomach violently flutter. Your half-lidded eyes seemed hypnotized and expanded, you took a long drag and exhaled upwards with your mouth in an O-shape. I was certain it was deliberate torment.

“Thanks, do _you_ smoke?”

You took the lighter from my hand and pulled out another cigarette from the pack.

“Not often but yeah I’ll take-“

I was silenced by your fingers dancing over my mouth as you mimicked my earlier actions, you took the gold lighter and held it to the cigarettes end. Once I was lit you lightly tossed it and the cigarette pack onto the side table to your left, I took a slightly smaller drag and moved my head back down to you as I released the smoke, ending it with a smile.

“Such a gentleman.”

Alternating between beer and puff I began to slowly assess my situation. It only just struck me that I was dragged away into a trailer by _the_ Kirk Hammett, the man of my dreams, and was currently drinking and smoking with him. It was the sort of thing I’d fantasize over as a fifteen-year-old never mind just meeting you, but as a seventeen-year-old approaching adulthood obviously more sexualised and vulgar ideas took over, especially considering that my libido had been building up for the past three and a half years. You took another puff and softly cleared your throat.

“So, back to the whole older guy thing… when you said you found the idea stimulating did you mean like, you know…”

I must’ve had the biggest deviant grin on my face I could feel my cheeks stretch, I calmed it before I turned my head once again to look into your deep brown eyes.

“Yeah, the idea of fucking a dude who’s like thirty-two turns me on, especially if he’s got long, curly hair…”

I watched you set your bottle down, I did the same as I had only half of my beer left. Your lowly laugh and sudden hold around my waist made me nervously shiver as I took another drag to cause self-distraction, It was plain as day that you were enjoying yourself, you revelled in our verbal eroticism.

“Interesting.”

You took a puff, your grip tightened.

“What would you let him do to you?”

I felt you slowly drag me into your lap, my sex drive was at its peak I went along with what you were doing, I wanted it. Your breath ghosted over my arm as I leant forward to extinguish the cigarette in the ash tray, falling into you I turned slightly so I could look at you properly. I wanted to be able to see that risqué expression in reaction to what I was about to tell you.

“Well first, I’d let him use his hands to get me going, I’d start feeling him up too to get us both excited-“

While finishing off your cigarette and discarding it in the ash tray I felt your hand that rested on my hip begin to snake its way up and under the side of my shirt at an agonizingly slow pace.

“Uh I- I’d make him undress me and kiss my skin all over as he did it, then get him to pin me against a- ah…”

Your lips gently smothered my neck and left small damp patches where they came in contact with my skin, your labret piercing occasionally dug into me, I bent my head to the side to give you easier access. The way your words vibrated against me set everything off for me.

“Against a what? Tell me.”

Words started to fail me, I merged into your touch. My hand subconsciously graced the side of your face and found its way into your dampened curls, I felt your own free hand begin to caress my upper thigh while I desperately tried to mutter out my fantasy.

“Uh-against a wall, I want to be fucked against a wall, I want him to be rough.”

“Go on I’m listening.”

I wanted to start crying the desperation for you to touch me in a more indecent way was unbearable. My other hand didn’t know what to do it just mindlessly gripped the fabric of the arm chair.

“He must be rough, call me names…”

Your hand up my shirt pulled at my bra clasp and snapped it against my back, I mewled like a little girl. I could feel what I assumed was your arousal begin to grow at my moans, it poked at my thigh.

“Is that all?”

I loved that condescending tone. I couldn’t even respond properly I was only able to cry and say your name.

“Kirk please, just fucking-“

My groaning was interrupted by a startlingly thunderous crash and wailing on the other side of the trailer door. I swore under my breath. You instantly became alert by the noise and lightly pushed me off you to stand up.

“Shit! Why are they back so quick?”

Before I could say a word, You were throwing on a white shirt and black, tight-fit short sleeved button down, you managed to look presentable just in time as Jason, Lars, James and a camera crew came marching in. Apparently, they were in the middle of filming your documentary that would span over the next week and a half, I had already started to come to terms with bidding my anonymity farewell. Lars started shouting at you before he could even spot me.

“Kirk, you fuck where the fuck were you? You just left about twenty-something kids in disappointment man.”

Before you could even open your mouth, I made eye contact with Jason. By the way his face lit up he was also able to recall who I was to you all. He was the first band member that I met, the first celebrity I had ever met. I couldn’t help but smile as I realised the recognition in his eyes.

“Holy shit, what’s up kiddo?”

Despite my happiness, I internally sighed.

_'Kirk you liar, one hour max my ass...'_


	4. A Reunion With A Side Of Admitance

I will not lie, I was not pleased when a camera crew and the rest of the band came barging into the trailer when I was so close to getting what I wanted, but the moment I looked into Jason’s eyes my happiness skyrocketed. I felt the same emotion I experienced when I met him back when I was eleven. He pulled me in for a sentimental pat on the back as so did Lars and James when they realised who I was, I kept glancing at you as I spoke with Jason about my current lifestyle and what I had been up to prior to coming to Leicestershire. You looked uncomfortable and nervous. Your vision kept rapidly darting from Jason to James (who was pulling out all the beers from the fridge and putting them in a bag), to Lars and then back to Jason and so on. You stared at your three band mates while you absentmindedly fussed and pulled at your labret, your eyes looked so serious, like you were on the defensive. Lars began to undress without a care and James followed suit as he packed up the last beer bottle, they both slipped into robes as they sat down on either side of the room showing clear fatigue. Still captivated with Jason’s memorable kindness I continued to stay engaged but still payed close attention to your body language, almost out of the blue you snapped out of your gaze and reverted to your usual positive and excitable personality that the world knew you by. The suave seducer seemed to vanish. You walked past me and Jason over to a table lined with Martini glasses and multiple brands of varied spirits that I hadn’t even noticed. You leaned over the many glass bottles and I saw you reach out for something, when you turned back around to us you had a cigar in your mouth and an empty cocktail shaker. Someone from the camera crew which I assumed was the director figure shouted over to Lars.

“We’re just gonna film you for another fifteen minutes and we’ll be done for today, we’ll let you be and come bother you all tomorrow morning.”

Lars got up to snag one of the beers James had packed and ran his hand through his sweat-drenched hair, he went to lean against the wall where the table of spirits rested against.

“Alright that’s cool we’ll just get Kirk to make some pre-drinks to get us ready. You can start rolling.”

Lars slapped your back as you held up the cocktail shaker.

“We’ve got like ten different brands of gin and a half-empty bottle of vermouth, I can make you all martini’s that are like seven eighths of Gordons to fuck you all up.”

Jason lowered his head and voice slightly.

“I hope you don’t mind being anonymously filmed, they won’t ask for your name for credits or anything.”

I shook my head not caring about it at all, James came over from his seat as Jason accepted your offer of a straight shot of Bombay Sapphire in a martini glass to ‘toughen him up’. James picked up a bottle of Tanqueray and casually scanned through the label.

“Cocktails are for pussies but I’ll have one anyway, put like a dash of every gin we have in mine.”

We all laughed and watched you start off by pouring the spirits as the crew began recording for the documentary, Lars took the Tanqueray gin from James and began to pour some into a glass for himself, he kept drinking and refilling it like a tank. As a good deed for Jason I took the Bombay Sapphire and stood next to you as you shook the first martini, I filled up a glass with the gin and handed it to Jason, expecting him to drink it like a shot.

“Bottoms up big boy.”

He reluctantly took the glass with a sheepish smile and a mumbled ‘fuck you’. You poured the first drink for Lars in order to stop him from finishing off the Tanqueray and getting prematurely drunk, you nudged my arm as you reached for a fresh glass and held your still unlit cigar in between your fingers.

“What gin would you like tonight Caitlin?”

While Jason tried his hardest to finish his ‘martini’ I studied the various brands of spirits with a finger tapping my lips. I ran through each name and recalled the times in the past I had drank them.

“Make mine Hayman’s I’ve never had it before I’m curious. Gordon’s and Bombay Sapphire are literally the only ones I’ve had it’s all that’s lying around in my house, Beefeater and Tanqueray are too dry for me.”

As you went to work with making my drink, Lars recovered from a generous gulp of his martini and held it up to me while leaning over the table.

“Fucking hell, looks like you’ve bagged yourself a bit of a spirits connoisseur huh Kirk? She’ll be able to keep you in check tonight.”

A bit surprised by his comment I saw you ever so slightly stagger. I took Jason’s now empty glass to refill it as you retorted in a confused tone.

“What do you mean ‘bagged myself’ she’s not my girlfriend she’s too young for fuck sake.”

“She may be young but I’m not fucking stupid.”

I couldn’t help but giggle to myself, experiencing a Metallica argument first hand was so surreal it was exciting. You pointed to the camera that was currently directed at myself and Lars with your cigar still tucked in between your fingers.

“Cut that part out please.”

Lars hysterically laughed at you and almost spilled the remainder of his martini, I playfully slapped your face telling you not to worry about it as I gave Jason his second round of straight gin. James stood in front of the camera and a gave a sort of ‘uh-oh’ expression as if he were a small guilty child. We could all tell that Lars had drank his gin too quickly so we came to the consensus of only having one martini before going out to get wasted. I decided to take over cocktail duties as I had made multiple for myself and my dad countless times before, I said for you to sit down, light up your cigar and expect a nice and strong beverage. Lars continued with his torment despite the rolling cameras.

“Kirk~ I see she’s an experienced girl, shouldn’t be any issues when you take her back to your hotel room tonight huh?”

Lars physically prepared himself for a punch while he repeatedly exploded with fits of giggles, the way you shifted in your seat even startled me it genuinely looked like you were about to harm him.

“Lars I’m gonna beat your little Danish ass shut the fuck up.”

I shook my head trying to stifle more of my laughter, I tried my best not to spill the cocktail I started to pour for myself. James gave a light swing to the back of Lars’ head as I moved on to make the next martini. He shouted at him, mocking him.

“Naughty boy, go to your room!

“Oh I’m sorry I didn’t realise your name was Torben Ulrich.”

The two continued to retaliate each other by throwing and catching insults, I carried on with my duty as the cocktail waitress and finished up the job with making the final one for you. With alcohol coursing through everyone’s veins we all became pumped up and ready to explore the many bars and pubs around the area, James suggested that we should travel up to Derby considering that the Hallmark Hotel was where your next booking was, you had all packed up your stuff in the early hours of the morning in preparation to relocate. Jason however wanted to stay local to Castle Donington to look at the scenery in the area. Lars scoffed and bluntly reminded him that they were going out to get hammered, not to have a nice stroll under the pale moonlight, that made me smile. We all steered towards James’ idea of taking a taxi up to central Derby and doing some sort of drinking game.

“We should try out what those kids explained to us earlier Lars, the whole drinking at every bar thing.”

Lars nodded his head in agreement while I asked about what James meant. He finished off the last of his cocktail and went into the details.

“Well apparently, there’s this game that students play where you have to have one drink in every bar you pass until you reach a desired location, but everyone has to have the same drink each time to make it fair. Since we’re moving hotels we should stop at the edge of Derby and try and find our way to the hotel from there and visit each bar or pub we pass on the way.”

I saw the devil in all of your eyes and couldn’t deny that the idea was something that should be ticked off of every alcoholic’s bucket list, which would never be a problem for the five of us. I instantly agreed with the notion and looked to you for a response, the vote was in James’ favour we all became determined to get wasted beyond belief. James walked away while taking off his robe to change in preparation for the big night out. As Lars finished off the last of his martini he followed the frontman to change in the same room, leaving me, you and Jason sat at the counter top where we had been drinking. The director wrapped up the recording and began to escort his crew out of the trailer.

“That’ll do for today we’ll come banging on your doors when you’re hungover tomorrow morning, have a good night guys.”

Jason bid them farewell as the director shut the door behind him, I suddenly felt a lot looser now that there were no cameras following us around. Jason decided that he should put on fresh clothes as well and left his empty glass in front of where he had been sitting, he disappeared into a separate room. We were alone again. I watched you try and relax yourself as you took the first few puffs of your cigar, you stared straight ahead. I made my best attempt at an alluring smile and ran my hand up your forearm, grabbing your attention.

“Am I really too young for you?”

Playing innocent I batted my lashes and inched closer to you, I noticed how apprehensive you were. You wanted to answer with something morally right but you couldn’t, you’d be lying to yourself.

“Well yeah, no-no you’re not but… can I be completely honest with you?”

You got up from your seat to put out your cigar in the ashtray, what you were about to tell me was pretty serious in your eyes, hence why you extinguished a half-finished cigar.

“Yes of course, I’m listening.”

 I stood but stayed in my spot and leaned against the counter top as I watched you come back to me.

“You see normally I’d say that seventeen Is way too young, in fact I’d say it’s wrong since you’re not an adult. You have to take in the fact that I’m also turning thirty-three this year and a fourteen-year difference in our perspective would be shunned by almost everyone.”

I took one step feeling my heart begin to slowly sink.

“So, you’re saying I am?”

You immediately reached out to grab my hands, your thumbs tenderly circled the tops of them.

“No what I’m trying to say is that to me I wouldn’t care what reporters or the public would think of it, you’re attractive, mature and I want this for us. Believe me I’d never even thought I could fall for such a young girl so quickly but you managed to make me. I just don’t want to get into trouble, I don’t want you to get into trouble I don’t even want to think about what your Dad would say…”

I lowered our hands to become so close my chest rested on yours, our faces were only centimetres apart.

“He doesn’t have to know. In fact no one does.”

You tossed your head from side to side in aggravation.

“I don’t want to live a lie Caitlin.”

“You won’t be, it’ll be a secret. We don’t have to make it public until you want to. I want to make you happy.”

I rested my head against your upper chest and felt your rapid breathing rise and fall. I took in your scent as I listened to your exasperated voice.

“God, what am I gonna do with you?”

I drew back as James came in from the other room, dressed in fresh clothes and ready to go. He looked at us both and seemed to acknowledge that we were holding hands still, but he casually shrugged it off even though his face seemed puzzled and slightly wary. He slouched over to the table full of the spirits we had been indulging in not that long ago and tightened the lids of each ones we had opened.

“You guys set to go now?”

We let go of each other and said yes simultaneously. Lars came dancing out already slightly tipsy and headed straight for the trailer door, Jason hopped behind while struggling to put his shoe on.

“C’mon children don’t worry about your shit the crew will pack it for us let’s go!”

Trying to distract you from your current passionate thoughts I tugged at your arm and followed behind James’ tall frame. With a tiny skip in my step I dragged you from the trailer and out into the pleasant night time air. With a taxi already on stand-by just a few feet away I pulled myself into you as we walked towards the beginning of an incredulous night. I shot you an elicit grin.

“Let’s get fucking shit-faced!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sex will happen soon just be patient pls thx


	5. The Quest Of The Five Alcoholics

Within the frames of the black, six-seater taxi it was quite a rowdy ride from Castle Donington to around the Thulston area, mainly due to Lars and his premature inebriation. Witnessing how easy it was for him to succumb to the effects of alcohol made me have more confidence in my tolerance, I had already told you all that my tolerance was better than that of my own father’s but he’d be hammered after three pints of oat malt stout. I for one, didn’t enjoy stout, I have always kept it simple with beer and ale and the occasional liqueur. I was squashed into my seat in between you and James, Lars and Jason sat on the one opposite us. Lars had the back window wound down and was mindlessly screaming at the poor people we drove past on the streets coming up to Alvaston, I tried to keep a look out for road signs that said Alvaston as I believed the village would be the perfect place to start our drinking game. My grandmother used to live near the area so I knew my whereabouts decently well, I frequently visited despite her being my mother’s mum, but my Dad understood how much I loved her. James looked out for any sign of a gathering outside a bar or pub, he desperately wanted to get things going.

“Where the fuck’s the entertainment all I see is a bunch of little stores and houses.”

Lars screamed out of the open window, his right arm dangling outside.

“Where are the strippers!?”

I knocked his knee with my hand and explained that this area of Derby is relatively quiet even on Saturdays and that the best he’d get for entertainment is a simple and traditional British pub. I wasn’t planning on stopping the taxi until we reached Allenton since it was close to the centre, so it wouldn’t take us five hours to haul ass to the hotel. As that thought crossed my mind, I then remembered that I had booked my own room at The Court House back in Hemington with my own money, I had to ring them back.

“You guys are rich, any of you got a phone?”

You all began searching your pockets but soon realised that you had nothing on you apart from loose pound notes, Jason tilted his head slightly.

“What you need it for kid?”

“I booked a hotel room all the way back in Hemington but there’s no way I’m gonna make it back there after tonight, I need to ring them back for a refund.”

Your hand squeezed my upper leg as you gestured with your other hand.

“Ah fuck it I’ll pay you back, think of it as compensation for dragging you out with us.”

Jason’s eyebrows noticeably raised and Lars instantly cocked his head to you with squinted eyes, I heard James half chuckle half sigh as he foresaw what was to come. He could read Lars’ mannerisms from the back of his hand.

“You paying her to keep you company Kirk?”

Your voice went slightly higher than normal.

“What? That’s ridiculous you know I’m against prostitution and all those types of services, get your head out your ass drunkard.”

Lars dropped all of his attention on you and leaned far forward, invading my personal space. I put my hand on my chest to push myself back in order to avoid contact with him, he ran his fingers through his hair like a comb while he glared at you.

“Why are you being so defensive that’s the sign of a liar is it not?”

I clenched my jaw as I looked to Jason who was deliberately ignoring the conversation with his head lowered down to his feet, James however gave a flamboyant sigh and knocked his leg into Lars’.

“Hey it’s none of your business who Kirk wants to bang.”

“Of course it is we’re all best friends here aren’t we?”

You looked so sarcastically distasteful from what he had said, you shook your head causing your hair to fly.

“What’re you fucking gay Lars?”

Me, James and Jason couldn’t help but chuckle at the two of you, you both looked heated but in a humorous way. Just before I notified the driver to stop the taxi Lars leaned back and allowed the breeze from the window to grace through his hair, he looked like some sort of amateur model.

“Yeah of course I am why don’t you bend over and let me shove my fist up your ass?”

I ended the argument with a simple statement that was guaranteed to steer everyone’s minds.

“The first pub’s in sight, driver could you stop at the end of this street thanks.”

My eyes subtly widened at the sight of all your heads turning and looking out of the car windows you sat next to, Lars was practically crawling up his seat and poked his head out of the cab like a dog as we slowed down. Coming to the end of the junction I questioned who’d be paying the driver. While everyone stepped out of the taxi you held out your hand to help me out from the middle seat.

“He’s our personal driver he’s being paid as we speak.”

That explained why the cab didn’t have a taxi sign on its roof. Jason knocked the driver’s window and thanked him for the ride before he drove off, I read the name of our first pub that we stood in front of: The Golden Pheasant. It was a family pub run by an old farmer at the time, from memory it was always quiet and had a general pleasant atmosphere, I knew this since my grandmother would take me there as a child for an afternoon glass of coke and a game of darts with her friends. We ventured inside only to find two older gentlemen sat at the end of the bar, they looked solemn. Lars huffed.

“Well this is thrilling.”

I rubbed his shoulder and walked up to the bartender guaranteed him that things would get crazier as we got closer to central Derby. With the four of you following behind me I suggested that we should keep up a ‘no boring drinks’ rule just to keep things hot and lively throughout the night, I knew that James would want to have a beer every now and then so I said I’d let him off but he had to pay for it, and it had to be over 3.5%. The rest of you were happy to carry on drinking strong spirits and other alcoholic liquids. Shoving my hand in my pocket to dig out some money I asked you all:

“What cocktail will everyone drink?”

I flicked through a couple ten pound notes but James pushed past to the bar and exclaimed he would pay for our first round, he browsed the black chalkboard and came across the lacking selection of cocktails, without confirming with us he went ahead and ordered five double shot Margaritas. No one seemed to complain but Lars looked as if he was already becoming bored with his surroundings.

“He’d better make ‘em quick I wanna move on.”

We all moved up to the bar and hunched over it in a line, from left to right it was Jason, you, James, me and Lars. I felt that little pull of wanting to be next to you even though we were a single person apart. It only seemed like a minute or two before each of us had identical glasses slid into our hands, the guy behind the counter didn’t even take a second glance at me. I held mine up and looked down both directions of the bar.

“We all have to drink them as shots at the same time, the last one to put their finished glass down will pay for the next round agreed?”

I had a simple yes from Jason and James exclaimed a ‘sounds good’ as he twirled his glasses neck with his fingers. We counted down from three with the tiniest bit of alcohol already touching our lips, I shouted go and took three manly gulps though James had already finished his. I set my empty glass down just after you did and watched as Lars followed rather shakily. That left Jason as the last one. With a mouthful of margarita Lars spastically clapped and pointed at Jason to mock him, I wrapped my arm around his shoulder for bitter comfort.

“Next one’s on you!”

He just sighed with a smile. As Lars finished his mouthful he still carried on with his clapping and yelled for us to move along as he was already making his way out of the building. James received his change from the bartender and hurried along behind us, the crowd that followed Lars. We turned right to carry on our way into central Derby and to scope out the next bar, Lars started complaining.

“That was such a shitty start the place was fucking dead, didn’t you see there were only two old guys in there!”

I heard you shout to him from behind.

“I know the fuckin’ bartender didn’t even make proper margaritas, he just shoved wedges of lime and ice cubes in our glasses and didn’t even rim them with salt.”

I playfully nudged Lars’ shoulder as I took to the front of the pack to lead everyone on.

“And you call _me_ the connoisseur! I know where the next closest place is it’s an actual bar that plays music but it’s like fifteen minutes away.”

Lars groaned and picked up his pace while pushing me forward, forcing me to speed walk. He clearly didn’t want the fuzzy feeling of his tipsiness to begin to fade he was adamant in carrying out a streak. Jason mentioned something about not wanting to do too much walking but me and Lars were already too far ahead for me to fully understand him. I turned a slight bend and shouted backward that the bar we were looking for was at the end of the road we were walking up.

As we stood a few feet away from the doors of the next drinking round I read its sign: Blacklight. We could all tell that it was some sort of underground rave club from the rapidly flashing coloured spotlights, giant disco ball and the fact that the DJ was blasting La Bouche’s ‘Be My Lover’. Fuck me I hated techno but La Bouche was undeniably catchy. Surprisingly there were no bodyguards at the doors so the five of us piled in and pushed our way through the crowd of flailing cybergoths high on ecstasy. The drinks bar was curved and had about twenty ravers leaning and hogging up the entire surface. We got James to do a bit of shoving to make enough room for us, I slapped Jason’s back and got right up to his ear to remind him that he was paying this time around. Lars pointed at a cocktail that some guys were drinking at the furthest left side of the bar, it was a tall and skinny cocktail that resembled the same colour of pink lemonade, it had a strawberry shoved on the glasses edge with a cocktail umbrella poked into it. We all assumed that he was telling us we should try that and went along with it, James didn’t look too keen but accepted it regardless, Jason shouted over to the bartender to order five of whatever they were. Lars was dancing like a drunken fool while James showed off some dad style moves as a joke, they got up close together and grabbed each other’s sides. Jason was practically balancing on the bars counter top to see if the bartender was making his order, he had already mixed three and brought them over to him, the last two were being prepped by another bartender. Once Jason splashed out his money he passed the three drinks down to you, me and Lars. Looking at how tall they were made me think that they’d be difficult to finish but in actuality they had around the same amount as any other generic cocktail. While waiting for James and Jason to receive their drinks I noticed a girl diagonal from me and you, she must’ve been at least twenty-two. She had pink and yellow neon face paint on her arms and face, a lack of a tank top and long blonde hair pinned back with butterfly clips. She kept eyeing you up while she suggestively sipped her own drink through its straw. I shouted into your ear.

“Slut alert at two o’clock!”

You darted your eyes around confused but managed to spot her, she became more deliberately provocative from watching me point and alert you about her, she must’ve assumed that I was notifying you that she seemed into you. Typical. Jason held up his drink as he passed one to James, yelling down to us to get ready.

“3… 2…. 1… DRINK!”

We all threw our heads back and tried our best at downing our drinks as fast as we could, surprisingly I finished first but instantly felt whatever was mixed in the cocktail hit me in the head. Jason almost dropped his finished glass along with James, you just about beat Lars to the punch. As I was about to tell you that you were safe from the next round I saw you making eye contact with the same blonde-haired bimbo across the way, seeing as she had your attention she began to chew on her straw and toss it around with her tongue. I muttered to myself.

“Okay bitch…”

I decided to play around with her, I snaked my hand through your hair and rested it on the back of your neck, my lips ghosted over your ear.

“Kirk~”

Before our eyes could properly meet I pulled you in for a sensual kiss, the way our lips crashed granted the two of us access to our tongues which made our contact turn feverish. It felt so good to finally show you a real, physical sign of my affection, your hand caressed my face while the other pulled me into you from the small of my back. My free hand ran up and down your chest as we continued to feast away at each other. We pulled apart slowly as La Bouche came to an end and the DJ transitioned to a Corona rave remix, I quickly averted my eyes to spot the dumb blonde to find her flowing hair float away into the crowd. I smiled at your dumbfounded face. Lars cheered to us, mainly from the effect of the previous cocktail, and shook my shoulders from behind as I let go of my hold on you.

“I told you I wasn’t fucking stupid you can do that at the next bar c’mon!”

I patted his chest as we began to move our way back through the crowd of ravers to move on down to the next destination.

“Remember the next round’s on you hot stuff.”

On our way out I could feel whatever that was mixed into the mystery cocktail begin to take its toll, there was a ridiculous amount of alcohol concocted with what I assumed was actual strawberry lemonade, and definitely vodka. We were still a good half an hour away from the hotel, god knows how many pubs and bars were left on the remainder of the way, we were only on our second one and my head was already spinning. I could only imagine how Lars was feeling, it was visually obvious how far gone he already was. James and Jason still seemed in order, you on the other hand seemed extremely relaxed and euphoric, I questioned to myself if it was our kiss? The more wasted we all became the faster my emotional state grew empathetic. At our third bar Lars walked straight in and ordered us all a row of four shots each, vodka, rum, whiskey and Irish cream. You could tell how shit-faced he was by the random and unfitting choice of the Irish cream. We all held our first shot ready, the vodka, Lars counted us down. We raced through each one looking at each other in the corners of our eyes, trying to see who was the furthest behind. James took each shot with ease, claiming shots go down with him rather smoothly, Lars and I flipped our last glass over bang on at the same time and leaned into each other with heavy sighs. Jason finished his set while you were still on your third one, the whiskey. I was surprised at how slow you were becoming.

By the time we had gotten to the seventh bar we had all lost at least once. The fourth place we came across was another simple pub, I suggested trying to stomach a whole pint of Guinness in one take. We followed our routine and lined up along the bar’s counter top, you ordered and paid for our drinks, the last loser (which was you) counted down and we flung our heads back to make the chugging a whole lot easier. The four of you found it mildly ironic at how I was the loser of the fourth round, I had forgotten how thick Guinness was, I hadn’t anticipated how difficult it would be to take it all in I didn’t even end up finishing my pint. The fifth round took place in a Spanish themed bar where the volume of the flamenco music forced us all to fuck around and dance our way inside. At the bar it struck me as odd to find limoncello as a purchasable three shot set, since it was an Italian liqueur. With a staggering voice and a little hiccup I hollered for the bartender to pour us all some shots of limoncello, it was at this point that we were all genuinely drunk. With our fists on the counter top we prepared for our trays of shots. The three bartenders who sounded more French than Spanish delivered out our Italian liqueur with kindness and grace, it was a European clusterfuck in there. I counted us down, still hiccupping, and practically inhaled my shots to make sure I didn’t lose again. Me, you and Jason had a pretty close call on that one and flipped our glasses at the same time. Lars was laughing at James with his last empty shot glass in his hand, he gave such a clamorous yell of disgust, clearly from his hate for the limoncello. I admit it is not the nicest of liqueurs but it can fuck you up. I snatched the two shots he didn’t touch and drank them for myself. You ruffled my hair as I swallowed the last drop and tossed the glass back to James with a smirk.

“Fuck me how are you still alive, this shit would’ve killed me at your age.”

I cupped your face with both of my hands.

“’Scus I’m a-alcoholic as fuck!”

Lars exploded and beat the bar’s counter top with his flat palms like his drums.

“I’m stealing that from you! Alcoholic as fuck~”

The seventh and final location was a fairly modernised pub that stayed open until the early hours of the morning, we hadn’t even considered what the time could’ve possibly been at that moment but I vaguely remember looking at a digital clock on a wall that had the numbers ‘0’ and ‘1’ on the side where the hours were supposed to be displayed. I pushed myself up and sat on top of the bar as I noticed what looked like some Metallica fans rush over from a corner booth, they seemed like generic delinquents. Before they could even growl or yell something metal related I snapped my fingers repeatedly and crossed my legs.

“Hold the fuck up kids were tryin’ tuh get fuckin’ fucked up here ya gon ruin the flow!”

One of the girls of the group challenged me and questioned who the fuck I thought I was, I was about to jump down and damage her pretty little nose before Jason dove in front of me to prevent a bar fight.

“Hey kids nice to, to meet you we’ll buy you some drinks if ya let us do this little game thing we’re doin’ deal?”

They were easy to please, Jason tossed out a few pound notes for them to get whatever they wanted, they went simple and grabbed some beers and found their way back to their seats. I mumbled tiresomely.

“Fuckin’ cunt I was gonna say I’m your worst fuckin’ nightmare or some gay shit like that.”

I felt your arms snake around my waist as I stayed put on the bar counter, I stroked your beautiful curls and then moved my caresses down to your face as you moaned.

“How far have we got to go, I might pass out soon…”

I looked at the black chalkboard up on the wall next to the front window of the pub as I reassured you that this would be our last stop, the Hallmark Hotel was right around the corner from where we were. To keep our inebriation up James said that he was going to get us all some whiskey and chocolate Bailey’s as dessert, so he shoved his money into the bartenders hands and let him get to work. I ran my fingers through my hair and felt my brain roll around inside my skull, Jason had his head down on its side on the bar’s surface and he blissfully watched Lars dance to no music whatsoever, he was making loud and obnoxious noises to move to. With my goofy, drunk smile plastered in between my cheeks I rested my head atop yours and quietly slurred so only you could hear.

“Can I sleep in your room tuhnight baby?”

“In my room? Fuck that you’re sleeping in my bed.”

I pulled your head up by your hair and smacked a lazy kiss on your lips. James slid us each the final drinks of our bold adventure through Derby. We all held up our glasses of whiskey and clanked them together, after the countdown we chugged away like mindless animals for one last time. Lars was the last to finish, in fact he still had a mouthful left in his glass but he just wanted to get onto the Bailey’s. James patted him on the back and made him promise to pay for the next time we would go out drinking. He slapped his hand onto his heart and proceeded to sip his Irish cream. As I reached for my Bailey’s I yelled a bit louder than I had intended.

“Can I just, like, tell you guys that I love you. You’re fuckin’ tankers ya know that?”  

James took a generous sip of his Bailey’s.

“Years of practice my dear, you’ll get better.”

As you kept holding onto my waist I used my free hand to move some of your dishevelled curls away from your gorgeous dark-brown eyes, your tired lids made me fall in love with you for what felt like the twentieth time that day. You looked up to me and whispered about a poorly kept secret, about something that could keep us going for even longer. You spoke of a little thing called cocaine and how we could keep all of this going once we got back to the hotel. In a sober situation I would’ve turned a recreational drug like coke down but being in the state I was I just went along with everything that you said. A few quiet moments passed as the five of us enjoyed our well-earned desert. As we simultaneously finished our delightful Irish cream we staggered our way out of the pubs open doors and headed for the turn at the end of the road. Your hand grabbed my ass and pulled me to your side, your stimulating whisper gave me goose bumps.

“We’re gonna be up for hours, believe me.”

Laughing into your chest we came face to face with the double doors of the Hallmark Hotel, James walked up the long, wide open corridor to check us in and retrieve the key cards for your rooms. I stayed hidden with you behind a pillar so the receptionist didn’t notice me, I wasn’t about to get into trouble at this stage. James slurred some sort of thanks to the poor guy working at the desk at whatever ungodly hour it was and held out four room key cards.  He could tell by how mute Jason was that he was about to throw up at any moment so he gave his card to him first, grumbling what we all assumed was ‘goodnight’ we watched him try his best to run down to his room. Lars hung onto James’ shoulder as he took his card from his hands, our room was down the opposite corridor to the guys, James gave a subtle nod to you as you took the room card from him. He held Lars up to prevent him from collapsing and whispered his goodnights as he took them to their rooms. As we walked away I praised the fact that we would have some real privacy, standing in front of the hotel room door I ran my hands over your clothed body.

“You gonna coke me up? Do awful things to me?”

Opening the door you pushed me inside and swung me against the same door. My head rang and my legs quivered, we were so fucked up and horny we stopped caring about everything and everyone. With your body pining me against the door I felt my insides melt as you bit at my earlobe.

“It’d be a crime if I didn’t. I’ll make you want this every day for the rest of your disgusting life.”

You dove for my lips all while your hand ran up my shirt and the other pinned my wrists above my head. This is what I had dreamed about ever since I was a little girl. Normal children would never dream of something so corrupted, but I was never normal to begin with. I had become a sex addict without even realising but it all unfolded on this particular night. You did this to me,

Kirk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is some good ass smut I guarantee it


End file.
